


He Couldn't Even Blame It On The Alcohol

by Obsessivecompulsivereadr



Category: Glee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:50:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessivecompulsivereadr/pseuds/Obsessivecompulsivereadr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot could happen in a week. </p><p>A person could go into Monday morning feeling fabulous about life and ready to take on anything anyone could throw at them.  But by Friday, or even Saturday, that person could have a completely different perspective.  And not necessarily a positive one.</p><p>A perspective like Kurt Hummel’s for example.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Couldn't Even Blame It On The Alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I wish the BIOTA episode had gone.

A lot could happen in a week. 

A person could go into Monday morning feeling fabulous about life and ready to take on anything anyone could throw at them.  But by Friday, or even Saturday, that person could have a completely different perspective.  And not necessarily a positive one.

A perspective like Kurt Hummel’s for example. 

 

 

“I didn’t drink that much,” Blaine insisted as they waited for their coffee orders to be filled.

“Are you kidding?  You spent the entire night sucking Rachel Berry’s face.  That sir, is what we call rock bottom,” Kurt joked as Blaine’s phone rang. 

And he hadn’t just stopped there.  Blaine and Rachel had sung together, and they’d flirted drunkenly.  All in all, it had been pretty much Kurt’s idea of a nightmare.

“Oh my god, speak of the devil,” Blaine commented as he picked up his phone.

“Two medium drips,” the barista put their drinks on the counter and walked away.

“Hi Rachel, Kurt and I were just talking about you,” Blaine glanced over at Kurt in amusement as he spoke, as they both took their drinks and headed to their usual table.

Kurt dipped his head toward the phone to hear what Rachel was saying.  “Is she drunk?” he whispered.

Blaine gestured to Kurt, “Shh sh sh sh.  Umm yeah.  Uh huh.  Alright.  I’ll see you then.  Okay bye.”

Kurt sat down and watched Blaine, who seemed a little incredulous about whatever their conversation was about.  From what little bit of the discussion he’d heard, she sounded like she’d been drinking.  Apparently, Rachel had yet to learn her lesson.  But then again, she hadn’t had her Bambi moment yet.

“Rachel just asked me out,” Blaine replied with a short laugh.

“That’s amazing.  She’s got a girl crush on you,” Kurt laughed.

Blaine got up to throw away some trash, and then Kurt realized exactly what Blaine had answered.

“Wait a second?  Why’d you say yes?  You can’t lead her on.”

“Who says I’m leading her on?” Blaine’s attitude had changed in a split second. 

At the table, he’d been almost mocking Rachel, and now, less than two minutes later he was hinting that he was honestly interested in Rachel. 

Kurt sat, wondering if this is what real shock felt like.  Blaine wasn’t serious was he? 

“You can’t be serious?” Kurt felt his stomach flip over, but not in a good, butterflies kind of way.  In the approaching dread that foretold that something awful was about to happen kind of way.

“We kissed.  It felt good,” Blaine shrugged.

“It felt good because you were drunk.”

“What’s the harm in going out on one crummy little date?” Blaine asked.

“You’re gay, Blaine.” Kurt lowered his voice but the emphasis was still there.  It wasn’t as if Blaine needed this as little reminder after the Jeremiah incident.

“I thought I was.  But I’ve never even had a boyfriend before.  Isn’t this the time you’re supposed to figure stuff out,” Blaine shrugged.

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now,” Kurt said softly, more to himself than to Blaine.

“Maybe I’m bi.”

 _Maybe_ he was bisexual. 

Kurt stood for a moment, and he looked down at Blaine, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Kurt headed to the bathroom to get himself together before he said something offensive. 

He’d always felt like he was a patient person, and usually, his father agreed unless it has something to do with his father’s eating habits. 

And he was patient.  After all, he did have Finn in his life, so he had to be.  But if there were any two people in Ohio who tested that patience _daily_ , those people were Blaine Anderson and Rachel Berry. 

Who were apparently going to date now. 

_The fuck?_

Kurt leaned on the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. 

Really, he shouldn’t have been this surprised.  Given the history between himself and Rachel, and given the debacle of the Jeremiah incident and the Valentine’s Day Lima Bean Epic Fail. 

Of course Blaine would decide to date Rachel after sucking her face off at the party last night. 

After all, he and Kurt were _just friends_.  And that’s all they’d ever be as long as Blaine had his way. 

Kurt was never going to be what any guy wanted, and he might as well just face that fact.  He’d had that driven into his skull daily ever since he’d realized he was gay. 

Finn was straight, and they were just beginning to repair their relationship after the embarrassing crush from sophomore year.

And even though Sam had never known that Kurt had been attracted to him, he was off limits too.  Not only was he straight, he was with Quinn.  _Wait, no_.  Santana now.  He was with her now, if that little rant she’d let out at the party was evidence. 

Well, Kurt decided, it was time to move on. 

When the first gay guy he’s ever been interested in, the first guy he legitimately had a shot with because at least they were the same sexual orientation, decides that he’d rather date a girl than even _try_ a relationship with Kurt, it was definitely time to move on. 

Kurt hadn’t always been good at taking hints.  After all, there had been a Finn in his life. 

But this wasn’t _just_ a hint. 

Blaine was gay, but was more physically attracted to Rachel Berry than he was to Kurt.  He was willing to give Rachel a chance when he hadn’t been willing to do the same for Kurt.  He almost hoped Blaine really _was_ bisexual, because at least this unexpected attraction to Rachel wouldn’t hurt quite as much. 

Because this _hurt_. 

And he’d been a few seconds away from saying something he’d regret if he’d stayed at that table.  

Kurt turned on the tap and splashed some cold water on his face, and then he grabbed a few paper towels to dab the water off lightly.  There was no need to mess up his complexion with tears or blotchiness.  No guy was worth that. 

He’d gotten over Finn, and he’d get over Blaine. 

Kurt took one last look in the mirror before exiting the bathroom. 

Blaine still looked as if he was in a bad mood when he returned to the table, but Kurt just gathered his belongings before he sat down. 

“You’re right.  This is a time for you to explore.  To find yourself.  And I hope you do.  I hope whatever you find makes you happy Blaine.  Really I do.”

Blaine grinned and took a sip of his coffee. 

“But wherever you find yourself, don’t expect me to be there beside you.”

“Wait, what?”

“Blaine, we’ve always been honest with each other right?  I mean, that’s what we do.”  Kurt took a deep breath, because he needed some kind of fortification for this. 

“Yes,” Blaine looked at him hesitantly, almost suspiciously, as if he feared another confession he didn’t know how to handle. 

“You have every right to date whoever you want.  Gay, straight or bisexual.  I’m not arguing that.  But I’m done Blaine.  I’m done with the cluelessness and the way you say or do things that actually hurt people without even sparing a thought about it.  I’m done with the constant _mentoring_ and the closeness, and the fact that… _you know what?_   Never mind.  I’m just done.”

“What are you talking about, Kurt?” Blaine’s mouth was slack. 

“I tell you _everything_ , Blaine.  You know about my relationship with Rachel.  You know about Finn.  And the _Rachel and Finn_ issue.  You know how competitive she is, and how I always seem to lose to her.  And you know how I feel about you.  Well, in this case, I’m hoping that I can soon change that to _felt._ ”

He might be able to sever the ties with Blaine with this one conversation, but Rachel would be a different story.  They were the kind of friends who had no problem stabbing each other in the back most of the time. 

He laughed a little, and not humorously, when he remembered their epic argument over Finn.  Accusations and snark had flown between them, but ultimately, he’d known Rachel was going to win because Finn liked girls.  But that hadn’t stopped them from sniping at each other.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that the message you’ve managed to get across to me today is that while you’re gay, and you know that I have feelings for you, those are feelings you aren’t willing to explore with me.  You admit that you’ve never had a boyfriend, but you aren’t willing to even explore me as an option for one.  But after one drunken kiss with Rachel, you want to date her.  Explore with her.  When minutes ago, you sat there mocking the fact that she’d even _asked_ you.  And now you’re going to go.  And explore.  And that’s fine.  Essentially, what you’re telling me is that you, a gay guy would rather date a girl than date _me_.”

“That’s not what I’m doing Kurt!” Blaine sat back in the chair.

“What if Jeremiah, after he not so politely told you that he’d never date you, went on to tell you about his upcoming date with a fabulous girl he’d met at the GAP?  How would that have felt Blaine?”

He didn’t answer. 

“I’ve been patient with the flirting, even now, after you turned me down.  I was patient through the duet at Christmas time, when you were blatantly doing it, unless of course, that was you just being in character?  You were performing, right?  Just like last night, when you were _just_ performing with Rachel?”

“Kurt,” Blaine’s interrupted, but Kurt ignored him. 

“I’ve been patient through the sarcastic comments about not fitting in enough.  I’ve been patient about the fact that you seem to think I should never spend any time with anyone else, despite the message that they’ll never like me if I don’t remember we all wear blazers.  What else was I supposed to think, Blaine?  Whenever I have plans with Nick or Jeff, you invite yourself.  When I try to spend time with other friends, you pout because I’m not spending time with you.  And I’ve been patient with that too.”

“Kurt, would you keep your voice down?” Blaine looked back and forth, most likely afraid of any type of scene Kurt might make. 

“No, I won’t.  Don’t worry.  I won’t make a scene, but I’m no longer going to keep my voice down.”

Kurt stood and walked away.

 

 

Ignoring Blaine took quite a bit of effort, Kurt decided when he’d gotten into the Navigator to head back home for the weekend. 

Kurt had been in a bad place when he’d transferred to Dalton, and honestly, he shouldn’t have bothered chasing anybody when he’d arrived. 

Maybe the problem was that he’d always wanted a boyfriend, so badly, that he’d blinded himself to the idea that Blaine wouldn’t be interested.  Because at least Blaine was gay.  Or bisexual.  Whichever it was. 

Now, he was faced with nearly the same situation he’d been faced with Finn.  Being near his crush, aware that the crush had no feelings for him, and being forced into a surreal awkward state of being nearly every day. 

But he wouldn’t stoop to running back to McKinley, not only because of Karofsky, but also because he was through running. 

Kurt would just make the most of this semester.  He could finish out the year with better grades than he’d ever had.  And he’d spend more time with the other Warblers, because he wasn’t quitting no matter how awkward it was around Blaine.  And if they decided that they were siding with Blaine over this, then so be it.  They were his friends before they’d met Kurt, so he’d make do. 

He had the option of driving back to Lima each day, but that would result in four hours of driving daily, which would leave little time for anything after school hours.

Not that he had any plans to do anything other than Warbler practices.  And if that got too tense, then he’d have to quit, because he was not wasting more time or frustration over Blaine Anderson. 

From Mercedes, he’d discovered that Blaine’s date with Rachel had been wonderful. They’d seen Love Story, and they’d ended the date apparently more enamored with each other than ever. 

And yes, he was bitter about that, but that’s because the whole ‘getting over Blaine’ thing hadn’t taken yet.  He still needed time.  And lack of contact with Blaine.  Distance. 

Those were what he needed, because he was going to refocus, get back on the track he’d fallen off of since the anxiety-provoking situation with Karofsky had started.  He was going to spend less time obsessing about finding a guy, and more time working on his activities for college. 

He needed more for his college applications than just Glee and his short term stint with the Cheerios.  If he had any chance of getting into a good fashion program or musical theater school, he needed more. 

It was junior year, and he needed to make some plans.  Get his shit together. 

And he’d start by talking to his father.  Because Burt Hummel was always his voice of reason, and there was nobody else he needed more.

When he pulled into the drive, he locked his Navigator and headed inside.  Tonight was going to be soufflé night, because of the run-in with Blaine the night after the party. He’d promised his dad he’d teach him to make it, and he really needed to talk to him about everything that was going on right now. 

Burt was in the kitchen, beer in hand and the supplies for his cooking lesson strewn out on the counters.

“Hey Dad,” Kurt announced and he dropped his bag on the counter furthest from the mess.

“What’s up Kid?”

“You ready for this?”

“Yeah.”

And then worked together for a while, making small talk about the shop, and about Carole and Finn, who were out together having their own bonding time.  Some weekends, Kurt and Carole got to do something together, and on those days, Finn was off with Kurt’s Dad.  The other times, like dinners out, all four of them went.  Just like a family. 

Kurt looked up from the counter when his father began sampling their cooking.

“Okay, souffle is all about the whites.  If you get yolk in it or you don’t let it stiffen properly, then you might as well be making pancakes.”

“Alright.  You think the one we already made is ready yet?”

“I hope so,” Kurt looked to the side, unwilling to confess to his father that he really wasn’t in the mood to cook tonight.  Not after the week he’d had.

Burt bent to get the soufflé out of the oven, “Alright.  Let’s check it out.  Here we go.  Ta-da.”

Kurt sighed, “You didn’t leave enough room in the dish to let it rise.”

“Hey, I’m sorry.  Why are you being so hard on me?  I would have been happy with you teaching me to make toast.”

“Look, I’m sorry Dad.  I know this is supposed to be bonding time, but.  It’s Blaine,” Kurt turned away from the sink and leaned up against it.  “He’s interested in Rachel.”

His father backed up and turned to the fridge, “I’m confused.  I thought he was gay too.”

“Oh he is.  He is.  He’s just confused.  He’s just experimenting.”

Before he could elaborate, his father turned around, “He’s not the only one.”

“What does that mean?”

“Look, I need you to ask me before you have someone sleep over.”

Kurt held up his hand, “Okay.  I get where this is going.  And you’re right.  But you aren’t going to have to worry about that anymore.  Not for a very long time.  Blaine and I were fully clothed, and believe me, he’s not about to try anything with me, Dad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His father stared.

“Nothing.  It’s just Blaine was too drunk to drive so I let him crash here.  But that’s not going to happen again.”

“You kids are drinking now?” Burt’s voice was almost a shout.

“Finn and I didn’t have any.  But wait.  Before you get started again, please let me finish.”

“Okay,” he gestured with his beer.

“I’m not going to be hanging out with Blaine anymore.  So his being drunk and being here and anything appropriate going on will not be a problem from now on.  Not that being inappropriate ever would have been.  But you’re right.  I shouldn’t have let him stay here.”

“What do you mean you’re not hanging out with him anymore?” Burt’s argument, whatever it had been, died quickly.

“I mean that I’m done chasing him.  I told him how I felt about him on Valentine’s Day, and he didn’t want me.  Even though he’s gay, he didn’t want me.  But he’s dating a girl.  And the fact that he didn’t see that as something that might hurt me was the final straw in our relationship.”

“Then he’s not worth it.”

Kurt turned back to his father.

“Look, I’m not good at talking about relationship stuff.  Especially not gay stuff.  I watched that Brokeback Mountain movie and all I got from that was that something went down in the tent.  But if he _is_ gay, and he wasn’t willing to date you, then he wasn’t worth your time.”

“Thanks Dad,” Kurt walked over and hugged him. 

“Now, let’s try this damn soufflé again.”

 

 

A few days later, after more Blaine avoidance and additional bonding time with his father, Kurt was feeling much better about things.  He’d contacted the nearest PFLAG organization to find out the requirements for starting a chapter in Lima. 

He felt a little selfish when he was talking on the phone with the volunteer.  She’d made a big deal about his desire to be more active in the community, and he’d ended up not telling her that the decision was more about needing more extra-curriculars for his college applications. 

But PFLAG had been his choice, because their mission was dear to his heart.  And he would throw everything he had into it, and make it something important in Lima, regardless of his initial motivation. 

There were things he had to do to get started, and it would probably take a few months, but he had time.  If he started now anyway. 

He had the Warblers, and if he was still at McKinley, he’d have the Cheerios, because he knew for a fact that Coach Sylvester would have let him back on.  All he would have had to do was ask. 

There wasn’t much more he could do at Dalton, if he left sports out of the equation. 

And he was really voting for leaving sports out of the equation. 

He could do some of the private voice lessons, but they cost extra, and his dad and Carole had already put enough money into Dalton for him.  He could play the piano, and maybe he could give lessons to earn extra money, but even if he did that, that money could be put to use elsewhere.  So he’d have to give up on the idea of voice lessons. 

He had his portfolio to work on as well.  The one of all his designs and his costume ideas.  It was nearly overflowing with all of Kurt’s work, so having something to show fashion schools would be no problem. 

But the theater part. 

That was iffy for him because there were no plays put on at Dalton because there was no drama club.  All of their funding was spent on the Warblers. 

But he had time to work on that as well.  There was a small community theater, and he could audition there because they didn’t require that an actor have an extensive background.  And then he could find out if he even wanted to do that at all before he made his decision about schools.

The one thing he was definitely not going to do was date. 

He’d had enough of rejection, and he’d had enough of feeling second best to someone.  He’d focus on himself, his future, his family, and his long term educational goals. 

Kurt took another sip of his coffee as he watched Rachel approach. 

They’d talked some since her date with Blaine, and she’d been appropriate.  Well almost appropriate.  There had been slight jabs about Kurt being angry because Blaine had chosen her, but he’d come to expect those kind of comments from her. 

They were meeting so that she could ambush Blaine into kissing her, to see if he was her one true love.  Or something like that.  She also didn’t know that Kurt had stopped talking to Blaine, not that it would matter to her, because her goal was to make sure everybody put her goals first.

“So you said he comes this way at 3:30?”

Kurt sighed, “Like clockwork.  For his post-rehearsal medium drip.”

“I just can’t wait to lay one on him.”

“Look Rachel. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.  I don’t want you to get hurt.  There’s no victory in this for me either way.”

“Who cares about you, buddy?  I may get a new boyfriend out of this.  One who can keep up with me vocally and in the future can give me vaguely Eurasian looking children.”

Kurt sat back. 

Really?  What had he expected? 

Did he really expect that she’d see beyond her own wants to care about what anybody else wanted?”

Apparently he had, because that comment had hurt just a little too much. 

“You know what, Rachel?  I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Be whatever this is with you.  This friendship of sorts.  This relationship where you completely cast aside any concern for someone else because it interferes with what you want.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact that you knew how I felt about him, and you went after him anyway.  Friends don’t do that Rachel.”

“It’s not my fault that he chose me Kurt.”

Kurt caught sight of Blaine approaching the counter. 

“There he is.  Dreamy as ever,” Kurt didn’t attempt to keep the venom out of his voice.  “But when you kiss him, and he realizes that he is in fact, as gay as the day is long, leave me out of it.  I no longer talk to him, and from this moment on, you are on your own.  Maybe Blaine can become your best gay friend because that position is open now.”

He stood and walked past Blaine, who’d called out his name to get his attention.

But Kurt ignored him, because regardless of how this afternoon turned out, whether Blaine was gay or bisexual or whether or not Rachel got a new boyfriend out of this, there was one fact that remained.

He was through with both of them.


End file.
